Hello,
The end of a year invites introspection. In my work developing leaders, I’ve seen one issue surface again and again: a lack of trust. Low trust not only undermines team performance–it also affects our relationships, our sense of belonging, and our personal happiness. Trust issues ripple through our relationships—both professional and personal—affecting not only how effectively we lead and collaborate, but also our overall wellbeing.
Stephen Covey once wrote, “Trust is the glue of life.”
That’s why, for this final newsletter of the year, I’d like to focus on the emotion of trust–and why it’s worth strengthening now.
The Power of Trust
Recently, a senior leader in one of my workshops had a breakthrough. She realized that her longstanding difficulty trusting others had held her back for years—limiting her team and draining her own energy and wellbeing.
She’s far from alone. Research shows that trust increases life satisfaction, reduces chronic stress, and improves organizational performance. Even at the societal level, cultures with higher trust tend to be more prosperous. And on the global stage—from the Middle East to Ukraine—distrust is often a core barrier to peace.
This may sound daunting, but there’s good news: trust is learnable. Few stories illustrate this better than the unlikely partnership between West German Chancellor Helmut Kohl and Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev—a relationship that began in deep distrust and ended with one of the most consequential agreements of the 20th century: the peaceful reunification of Germany.
From Distrust to Dialogue
When Gorbachev came to power, Kohl made a serious diplomatic mistake—publicly comparing him to Nazi propagandist Joseph Goebbels. The remark deeply hurt Gorbachev and revived old wounds from his childhood during the German invasion of his village. For Kohl, it suddenly seemed impossible to collaborate on German reunification. But he also knew reunification could never happen without Gorbachev’s support. Rebuilding trust was the only way forward.
The Turning Point
Kohl began with a sincere, private apology delivered through West German President Richard von Weizsäcker. It opened the door to their first meeting in 1988. Instead of talking politics, the two men spoke about their families, their childhoods in wartime, and the losses they had endured. That simple human connection changed everything.
Over the following months, their conversations grew deeper. They shared meals with their spouses, told stories, listened, and showed real care for one another. Gorbachev later described this emerging bond as a “strategic turning point.”
By the time Kohl visited Gorbachev in the Caucasus Mountains in 1990, trust had taken hold—strong enough for the two leaders to negotiate and ultimately agree on the peaceful reunification of Germany.
Four Dimensions of Trust
This story is a good example of how the “four dimensions of trust” can help us assess the level of trust in a relationship:
- Sincerity — Do you say what you mean? Do you act accordingly? Kohl’s apology and consistent commitment to peace helped rebuild sincerity.
- Reliability — Can people count on you to do what you promise? Over time, both leaders demonstrated reliability through action, not just words.
- Competence — Do you have the ability and support to deliver on what you propose? Each needed confidence that the other could secure political backing at home.
- Care — Do you consider the other person’s interests—not just your own? Their personal conversations demonstrated empathy, which softened suspicion on both sides.
👉 Watch the one minute video: Trust – The Fuel for Collaborating
Applying This
Whether you’re leading a team, managing a project, or resolving a conflict, the same four dimensions of trust apply. Trust allows people to take risks, collaborate, and move forward—even when stakes are high or history is complicated.
The Kohl–Gorbachev story reminds us: Trust is built through sincerity, reliability, competence, and—most of all—care.
When leaders demonstrate these qualities consistently, even deep distrust can be transformed into partnership. And partnership can change the course of history.
A Question to Close the Year
With whom do you want to rebuild or deepen trust next year? How can you use these insights to do so?
Thank you for your support.
Happy Holidays and my best wishes for the New Year!
Reiner
